Smiles All Around - Courtesy Of The Dude

Back in November 2017 we instigated a pocket money / rewards program here at Mad Mammy Towers - which even saw one individual planning on making his fortune by getting paid for doing his sister's jobs! 😂

Over the past few months La-la has spent a considerable amount of her earnings but the Dude hasn't spent a cent! When he has pointed something out in a shop and asked for it, I've told him he can get whatever it was out of his own pocket money. This has always resulted in the same reaction - suddenly he doesn't want the thing so much any more!

Then, at the weekend he asked Big Daddy to take him to a local art store. Big Daddy was a little confused because the Dude doesn't do arty stuff. He asked him if he meant a sport's store but the Dude was adamant he wanted to go to the art store.

Once there he went searching for a specific item and only the best would do. He then bought it - out of his own money! - and brought it home. What was this item, I hear you ask, that he wanted so much he was prepared to spend his precious money on???

Turns out he wanted to spend his money on a smile - his sister's smile. After all those months of not spending a single cent on himself, he went and spent his money on an art set for his sister!

"I just wanted to make her happy and see her smile," he explained to his flabbergasted father and me.

The Dude - a never ending source of parental fascination and maybe just a little bit of pride. 😊

How Your Inner Cynic Can Guide You To The Things You Need To Hear!

This morning I was taking my usual cursory glance at the headlines over my morning coffee, when, one in particular, caught my eye.  "Is THIS the secret to happiness?"  the attention grabbing headline asked.  As one who is on a constant quest for any scrap of happiness I can find, I immediately zoomed in a little closer on the seductive sentence...  It was accompanied by a photo of an attractive brunette in oversized glasses and with bright red lips.  Further perusal of the rest of the headline informed me that the lady in the photo was the blogger who has come up with a fifteen point plan to guide you to happiness.

It was at this point I had to ask if I'm the only over-weight, plain looking blogger on the planet! Any of them that go viral always seem to look like they could do modelling on the side. But I digress... Not only was this lovely lady a blogger and personal development guru but she was also described as a "happiness guru".  A happiness guru!  What the hell is a happiness guru and why the hell aren't I one of those???

The lovely Luminita

I have to admit at this point that my inner cynic jumped into action.

"For fuck sake!" It announced loudly, "here we go again, some self-appointed personal development quack, calling herself a bloody happiness guru, feeding us all a load of trite bullshit about what we need to do to be 'happy'."  I swigged my coffee, ready to move on to the next headline but my inner cynic wasn't quite finished.  "Spare me!" It announced in an even louder voice.

So, of course, always up for pissing my inner cynic off, I clicked on the headline. If there was a chance that there was even one nugget of advice as to how to improve my chances of happiness in this lifetime then I wasn't going to risk passing it up!

And I am so glad I did!  Because it would seem the lovely Luminita - also known as The Purpose Fairy - is onto something...  Below is her list of the fifteen things you need to give up in order to achieve happiness.

15 THINGS YOU NEED TO GIVE UP TO BE HAPPY 

1. Always being right

2. Always being in control

3. Apportioning blame

4. Self-defeating thoughts

5. Limiting beliefs

6. Complaining 

7. Criticising

8. Impressing other people 

9. Resisting change

10. Labelling people

11. Fear

12. Making excuses 

13. The past

14. Attachment

15. Living up to others' expectations

The article went into each point in more detail and the more I read the more I was impressed.  I've come to all these conclusions myself over the years.  Every experience I had to go through to finally arrive at these conclusions was a painful lesson and I instantly recognised that Luminita hadn't come to creating this list without a significant amount of pain in her own life.  No-one does.  I have to admit I still struggle with understanding some of these truths and applying them on a daily basis - especially number fourteen - attachment.  However,  I continue to explore their meaning.  I've been sidetracked and sidelined in recent months from this sort of exploration and feel I am none the better for it.  So, despite my inner cynic's objections, I am very glad I clicked on this headline this morning as it provided a very timely reminder to take a step back and have a look at the bigger picture.  And I would add another point - always listen to your inner cynic and then do the exact opposite!

Luminta has written a beautiful book entitled "Fifteen Things You Need To Give Up To Be Happy - An Inspiring Guide To Discovering Effortless Joy."  It will be going on my bookshelf very soon.  

Luminita's Book

The article appeared in the Daily Mail.  The link is below.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-3867048/Blogger-reveals-15-things-need-happy.html

The Things We Do!

The Dude took me aside yesterday evening and with his most solemn face took a hold of my hand and explained he had something big to ask of me. I looked into his huge, hypnotic eyes wondering what on earth was coming next.  

He took a deep breath, glanced at the floor, then back at me and let it out.

"I need you to bake some brownies for the Italian celebration at school tomorrow."

The Dude be looking for some of these!

He squeezed my hand for effect, as if the plea in his eyes wasn't enough.

I inhaled sharply.

La-la looked on - shocked.
I should mention that the kitchen is not where I shine... and I find baking particularly erm... challenging...

The Dude stood there looking like the decision to go on with the rest of his life or not rested on my answer.

"Me?" I squawked.

He nodded his head. I'm not sure if he could have squeezed any more solemnity into his expression.

I looked at La-la.

She returned my horrified expression.

I looked back to the Dude.

"Do you think that's such a good idea?" I asked him.

"Yeah," La-la announced, "do you think that's such a good idea?"

The Dude slowly turned his head and looked at his sister.

"I'm not sure," he admitted, "but everyone else is going to be bringing something in so this is my only hope..."

He then proceeded to look at the floor, still holding my hand.

This kid is good.

"Okay," I informed him, "I'll give it a go, but only if we have the necessary ingredients here."

He beamed at me.

"Oh we do!" he declared and ran to the cupboard whereupon he produced a packet of Woolworth's Brownie Mix.

I fixed him with a suspicious look.

"Oh imagine that," I announced, "we just happen to have a brownie mix in the house."

The Dude's face split into a grin.

"Yeah, we do," he laughed.

Three eggs, a lump of butter and forty-five minutes later we had a brownie cake and a very happy little boy as he and his sister licked the bowl clean.

Chocolate Brownie Cake

He headed off to school this morning with quite possibly the least fancy offering of all for the Italian celebration but there was an extra pep in his step and a bit more puff in his chest at the fact that this time he could proudly announce his mammy had baked brownies!

Happy Little Boy With His Euros
All Ready To Buy The Goodies!

Oh the things we do!

Happy Mother's Day

They found me this morning, in my office, with a cup of coffee and getting a bit of work done before they insist I relax and "do nothing" today on my special day!

Then they scurried off to wherever they had their little surprises hidden and came back, their gorgeous faces aglow with happiness.

I opened La-la's first.  A beautiful handmade card, bookmark and necklace telling me to, "Enjoy The Little Things."

Handmade By La-La

The Necklace

The Dude was jumping from foot to foot with excitement! I took his gifts of little handmade boxes and a notebook thinking that was it but the true gift was in the inside pages of the notebook.

"Open it! Open it!" he exclaimed!

I did and I found a list of words.  Not just any old words but a list of words about how I make him feel.  Here they are:

"Happy. Joyful. Glad. Delighted. Loved. Believed. Gleeful. Angry (sometimes but not that much!) Excited. Thrilled. Supported. Cared For. Cheerful. Surprised. Powered Up! Super. Terrific. Magnificent. Brilliant. Awesome. Cool."

I was floored!

And then I looked up and saw the love and joy beaming out from their beautiful faces.  These two little beings - so happy that I am their mother.  And I at once felt humbled and tiny and all-powerful and ready to take on the world.

How La-la And The Dude See Me

Being a mum will challenge you in ways you never dreamed of but it also means being loved in a way you can't possibly ever imagine.

To all the amazing mums out there, I wish you a Happy Mother's Day.  Enjoy.