Monday, 24 October 2016

How Your Inner Cynic Can Guide You To The Things You Need To Hear!

This morning I was taking my usual cursory glance at the headlines over my morning coffee, when, one in particular, caught my eye.  "Is THIS the secret to happiness?"  the attention grabbing headline asked.  As one who is on a constant quest for any scrap of happiness I can find, I immediately zoomed in a little closer on the seductive sentence...  It was accompanied by a photo of an attractive brunette in oversized glasses and with bright red lips.  Further perusal of the rest of the headline informed me that the lady in the photo was the blogger who has come up with a fifteen point plan to guide you to happiness.

It was at this point I had to ask if I'm the only over-weight, plain looking blogger on the planet! Any of them that go viral always seem to look like they could do modelling on the side. But I digress... Not only was this lovely lady a blogger and personal development guru but she was also described as a "happiness guru".  A happiness guru!  What the hell is a happiness guru and why the hell aren't I one of those???

photo of attractive brunette in over sized glasses and with bright red lipstick
The lovely Luminita
I have to admit at this point that my inner cynic jumped into action.

"For fuck sake!" It announced loudly, "here we go again, some self-appointed personal development quack, calling herself a bloody happiness guru, feeding us all a load of trite bullshit about what we need to do to be 'happy'."  I swigged my coffee, ready to move on to the next headline but my inner cynic wasn't quite finished.  "Spare me!" It announced in an even louder voice.

So, of course, always up for pissing my inner cynic off, I clicked on the headline. If there was a chance that there was even one nugget of advice as to how to improve my chances of happiness in this lifetime then I wasn't going to risk passing it up!

And I am so glad I did!  Because it would seem the lovely Luminita - also known as The Purpose Fairy - is onto something...  Below is her list of the fifteen things you need to give up in order to achieve happiness.


1. Always being right
2. Always being in control
3. Apportioning blame
4. Self-defeating thoughts
5. Limiting beliefs
6. Complaining 
7. Criticising
8. Impressing other people 
9. Resisting change
10. Labelling people
11. Fear
12. Making excuses 
13. The past
14. Attachment
15. Living up to others' expectations

The article went into each point in more detail and the more I read the more I was impressed.  I've come to all these conclusions myself over the years.  Every experience I had to go through to finally arrive at these conclusions was a painful lesson and I instantly recognised that Luminita hadn't come to creating this list without a significant amount of pain in her own life.  No-one does.  I have to admit I still struggle with understanding some of these truths and applying them on a daily basis - especially number fourteen - attachment.  However,  I continue to explore their meaning.  I've been sidetracked and sidelined in recent months from this sort of exploration and feel I am none the better for it.  So, despite my inner cynic's objections, I am very glad I clicked on this headline this morning as it provided a very timely reminder to take a step back and have a look at the bigger picture.  And I would add another point - always listen to your inner cynic and then do the exact opposite!

Luminta has written a beautiful book entitled "Fifteen Things You Need To Give Up To Be Happy - An Inspiring Guide To Discovering Effortless Joy."  It will be going on my bookshelf very soon.  

Image of a  book entitled Fifteen Things You Should Give Up To Be Happy
Luminita's Book
The article appeared in the Daily Mail.  The link is below.