Wednesday, 17 May 2017

A Moment Of Mad Mammy Madness

The Mad Mammy has finally made the move to Canada! Hence the reason for radio silence in recent months as I've been a bit busy...  Wrapping up one life and starting another isn't easy and thanks to a lot of incomplete information on the internet this move has been particularly complicated and a lot more work than I had anticipated!  However, I am finally at the point where I am looking at prospective properties to live in. So myself and the kiddies rocked up to a beautiful old property yesterday in a very nice part of town.

The Canadian Flag made out of maple leaves

The property I looked at wouldn't normally be on my list as it's old - as in it's only ever been lived in by the people who built it - over seventy years ago! But it's in a great school catchment and my instinct tells me that its slightly shabby appearance means the owner just might allow dogs and there's two kids in this house who've been waiting a long time for puppies...

We be getting one of these...

And one of these!
During my eagle-eyed inspection I spotted a window that didn't look like it closed properly. A closer look confirmed that the wood was a little warped and indeed there might be an issue. Now a normal person would have left it at that but of course since when was, Your's Truly, ever deemed normal???
I tugged it towards me to see if it just needed a helping hand to close but it didn't budge. Undeterred, I pushed it a little and again it didn't budge. Again, a normal person would have left it at that but for some reason best known to the inner workings of my Mad Mammy mind I was suddenly obsessed with getting this window closed!

abandoned, broken, colors
The Window Looked Something Like This!
So I decided to give it a good shove so that I could then put some effort into pulling it towards me and getting the damned stubborn thing to close! Without further ado I put my considerable weight behind my hand and pushed that baby hard! And it moved! Actually everything moved!!! Everything as in the outside frame for the ancient double glazing - inclusive of glass! The whole feckin lot shattered to the ground!

I was mortified! La-la and the Dude were outside playing in the garden and heard the crash. They came running into the house and found me standing by the window with my eyes wide and my mouth stuck in an "O" position.

"Oh no!" The Dude declared, "what have you done now?"

(Note: I'm pretty sure it's my job to say that line!)

He didn't wait for my reply and turned and dashed down the stairs and out the front door.

La-la patted me on the shoulder and invited me to confess.

"What have you done now Mummy?" she enquired with puppy dog eyes.

Her answer came from below the window.

"Oh my God! Oh my God! I can't believe it! Oh my God! Oh Mum! Oh wait till you see what you've done now Mum! Oh my God! Oh the embarrassment!" - The Dude was on a roll and incapable, it would seem, of shutting up.

I immediately abandoned my half-plan of saying nothing... The whole neighbourhood knew my crime by now.

Understanding blossomed over La-la's features.

"Oh Mum," she said, "did you break the window?"

I nodded.

She shook her head, put her face in her hands and then patted me again with the words, "oh Mum."

The estate agent appeared behind her and enquired if everything was okay. I fessed up and La-la ran off to join her brother to inspect the damage. The estate agent was remarkably cool about the whole thing and completely brushed it off! 

I'm standing there thinking the whole thing reminded me of a scene from one of the Omen movies and if it's a sign that I should run from the house now and never return! Only problem was, two minutes later the estate agent informed the kids that having a dog at the property wouldn't be a problem. La-la promptly fell at the woman's knees and started to worship her (I kid you not!) and the Dude proceeded to run around the garden, like the crazy coot he is, shouting, "whoop! Whoop! Puppies! Yeah! Whoop!"

Last night I dreamed of a giant Newfoundlander puppy jumping through a window and practically licking me to death in my bed! I think my fate has been sealed.

No comments:

Post a comment